Before I Do

By: Ogaga Umukoro

I just said I DO!!! I had the most glamorous ceremony. It was the talk of the town. People came in their various attires, it was colourful and eventful. It was all over social media especially Instagram. My hashtag was trending on twitter! What a day.

Alright; Happily ever after right? Fast forward to 3 months later, after all the excitement and buzz; reality sets in. I was more interested in the wedding ceremony than the marriage.

Are most of us not guilty of this? We want to get married! We get anxious when we are not married at a certain age. We even pause of lives until marriage. We wait to be married to start life. Relax girlfriend.

My strong African sisters, we should realise that we are so powerful beyond our imagination. Let us examine who we are. The people called helpers are people who can do or take you somewhere you can’t get to easily on your own. Guess what, we are “help meets”. That is what God calls us. So don’t think too little of yourself.

What does it take to be an help meet? To be able to help, you need to be knowledgeable in that area. When God said I will make him (Adam) a SUITABLE help meet. He meant one who has the ability to help in that specific task.

Hence, before I do. It is essential we do 3 things:


1) identify our skills: Identification is the first step to being a suitable help meet. We are loaded with various talents in different proportions relevant for us to be that suitable help meet. Until you identify it, you will struggle in your role as a help meet.


 2) Develop our skills: The talents deposited within us are in the raw form, we have to invest in it via development. Increase and Refine it. This is what distinguishes individuals. The level of development of your skill determines the quality you produce. What quality of help do you want to be?


3) Utilise our skills: This can be done simultaneously with developing our skills. Experience helps with development. The more you put your skill to use, the more you get results whether success or failure. Yes, failure is a result, it teaches you what not to do the next time; so learn from it.

As Myles Munroe said; when purpose is not know abuse is inevitable and where there is abuse, there is frustration and dissatisfaction. We complain of abuse in our home, of us enduring and not enjoying it. Have you checked if you are a suitable help meet?

For those married, find out the help your spouse needs and develop the skills to be a suitable help meet.

For the singles, it is better to find yourself first before marriage. Identify your skills, develop and use them. In this way, it is easier to know when the right one comes because he will be the one you know that you can be a suitable help meet for. The one you can help with fulfilment of his God given assignment and in so doing fulfilling yours too.

Do not pause your life until marriage. Find yourself before marriage so that you are ready to be a suitable help meet when the time comes. This is the key to enjoying marriage.

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